Change your Questions Change your Life: 12 Powerful Tools For Leadership, Coaching, and Results; 4th Edition by Marilee Adams

Author:Marilee Adams
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Berrett-Koehler Publishers

Figure 6. ABCD Choice Process

He gave me a moment to familiarize myself with the content before going on with his story. Then he labeled each step like it was a chapter and delineated each step.

“A—Aware! Am I in Judger? Stan was very funny about this. After we went over the characteristics of Judger, he amazingly admitted that an awful lot of what we described applied to him. His response surprised us: ‘Being in Judger is my forte!’ We all laughed, though we knew he was beginning to look at his behavior more honestly.

“B—Breathe! Do I need to pause, step back, take a deep breath and look at this situation more objectively? Stan smiled at this question, actually did take a deep breath, paused, and shortly admitted that he was being anything but objective, especially because so much money was at stake. He really distrusted this new CEO, though he’d never even spoken with the man.

“C—Curiosity. What’s really going on here? What are the facts? What am I missing or avoiding? We asked Stan if he’d done anything to collect objective information. Did he have everything he needed to make a responsible judgment? Stan realized that he’d never gotten past his distaste for what he’d heard about this new hire at the startup. But facts? No, he admitted that he had no facts. That was a real eye opener for him.

“D—Decide. What’s my decision? What’s my choice? Well, by then Stan realized that he didn’t have all the information he needed to make a wise choice. And because of his large investment he owed it to himself to check things out. A month later Stan called to tell me he’d checked around and found out the new CEO was a good guy who’d gotten caught up in someone else’s mess. It was Stan’s awareness and acceptance of Judger that allowed him to scrutinize his assumptions and open his mind about the new CEO. Long story short, Stan left his money in, the company went public two years later, and he made a fortune.

“The whole situation made Stan stop and think. It was a real wake-up call for him. Having realized how much money his Judger almost cost him, Stan tells me he now uses ABCD all the time. It’s become an integral part of self-coaching for him. He even jokes that he’s starting to hardwire those questions into his brain! None of this would have happened if he hadn’t been able to simply observe and accept the Judger part of himself instead of pushing it away. Using the ABCD process begins with awareness and acceptance, then builds on it. Stan certainly reaped the rewards!

“If you met Stan today, you’d still notice that he can be opinionated and judgmental. He knows that part of himself very well and accepts it, but now he doesn’t allow it to blind him in making decisions. He even has a sense of humor about his Judger. He said the ABCD process had shown him how to avoid committing assumacide.

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